Why Love At First Sight Might Not Be Quite What It Appears To Be
We all have grown up watching romantic movies where it needs only a moment to fall madly in love . It only takes a couple of moments, a chance meeting, their eyes meet across a crowded room, and in that instant they just know that are fated to be together. Love at first sight! But is this romanticised vision of the world anything like reality? Can you really recognize your true love so fast or is real life more problematic than that? Well, in order to answer that we will need to make clear what we mean when we say 'love'. In this article I want to explore how so called 'love at first sight' has more to do with animal instinct than with real romance. In my view, people believe in the concept of love at first sight because it provides them with a safe, comforting view of how relationships work, but the truth is that this seemingly common phenomenon does not really exist in the way people believe it does. Lots of you will now be shouting at your monitor, telling me how when your parents met, or when you were first introduced to your significant other, it WAS undoubtedly love at first sight. Incidents where somebody was caught by Cupid's arrow at the very first second they saw another, and possibly some of those people are still in a relationship with that person, or even got married or had children. And that’s because when I say that love at first sight is a delusion, it doesn’t mean that love can’t mature between these two people in the future. The thing is that we should differentiate two very different things, love and a crush (or an infatuation). A crush is that giddy sensation that can be felt when you have just met someone new who blows you away completely. And infatuations can be 100% instantaneous. Our entire body experiences it like an adrenaline spike that makes everything around us surreal, the ground shakes beneath our shoes, and thousands of butterflies flutter in our stomach. But, happily, the crush part doesn’t really last! Because in all seriousness, who could really manage to feel like that with their other half for their whole life? During a crush, which typically lasts a few months, we are convinced that the person we’ve found is utterly perfect, has everything right and nothing wrong. We feel drawn to the other by just looking at them, and our body shudders with the merest touch. Passionate affairs that are based on a fleeting crush typically end when this fleeting feeling loses its strength.
Can true love really happen straight away, like infatuation? I don't think so. It is an emotion that evolves with time, and it’s dependent not on a hormonal rush but on a true physical, mental and spiritual affinity with the other person. You can’t love somebody you don’t know, and it takes time to get to know someone and build a strong, enduring relationship. The good news is, while the crush does remain, many lovers make the most of it and get to know each other more profoundly, and so manage to form a solid connection that doesn’t die when the hormonal tornado comes to a stop. So, ‘love at first sight’ as such maybe simply a fantasy. But remember this doesn’t mean that a fleeting crush can’t be the start of a true story of everlasting love! Melinda Suarez is a life coach who provides expert relationship guidance to couples in difficulty. Her articles have been published on various websites and in various languages. You can contact her via her website: Como Recuperar A Tu Pareja.
